The Space Between Our Heads and Hearts

It's not always easy...this journey to sanctification. Maybe I'm alone here, but there are days when I feel like I'm really doing all the right things and I'm close to my savior. Then there are other days where I feel I can't do anything right and He must really not think much of me. If I'm being totally honest, sometimes I wonder if He would accept me at all if He were to return right in that day. But why? Why is it that I can have such different feelings and thoughts about my relationship with Christ from one day to the next?

It's often a struggle between my head and my heart that plays from day to day. My head certainly knows that sanctification in Christ isn't built or torn down in a day. But my heart can

often run my emotions and make me feel completely different. The human nature within me begins to tell me that I'm not good enough to be saved by our savior.

I believe this is one reason that Christ left us his scripture. He was fully God and fully man. And in being fully man, he understood what it was like to have the head versus heart battle. I think of him on the day of his arrest as he prayed in the garden of Gethsemane. As a man, he must have been aching in his heart at the thought of what was coming to him next. He knew it would be excruciating in the physical and the emotional. As a man, he knew full well the power our emotions can play in our heads. As a maestro conducting a carefully crafted orchestra of lies and deceit, our the evil ones seem to know exactly what to do to get us to believe we are unsavable. Knowing the struggles of man so well, Christ gave us his word to run to when we cannot seem to find the solace in the space between our head and our heart. After all, Christ himself used the word to combat the Satan when he came to temp him in the wilderness. Jesus, three times, used..."it is written..." to combat the temptations of the devil.

Romans 3: 21-26 Reads:

But now apart from the law the righteousness of God has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify.22 This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile,23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,24 and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.25 God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement, through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith. He did this to demonstrate his righteousness, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished—26 he did it to demonstrate his righteousness at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus.

The scripture provides an amazing way to get our bearings back...to ground us to reality. And Romans 3 reminds the heart that not one of us is righteous, not even one. In our own strength, we fail. We cannot achieve righteousness of God. And there are no amount of good works we can cleave to that will make up for the wrongs we have done. However, it goes on to side with our head knowledge by telling us that it is by our faith in Christ who bought and paid the price for our sins that we can know we are safe and justified to him.

Sometimes, I try to picture it. At any time, Christ could have simply stated...WOW, these people are nuts and I'm just going to start over with a new creation. But He never has. Throughout the thousands of years of us, as humans, failing him daily, He has never given up on us. I may never understand this kind of love, but I am forever grateful for it. I cannot begin to understand why, but my heart can understand how undeserving of this kind of love I am. As one truly begins to understand the gravity of his longsuffering love toward us, it becomes impossible not to want to chase being better for him. Once you've truly seen Christ and believe he is who he says he is, I cannot imagine being able to turn and walk away from him. Believing what he truly is means a life-altering mindset. It's understanding that apart from him, we have no hope. And cleaving to him, we have the hope of heirs to the throne of the creator of the universe.

The least I can do is reconcile my heart and head by turning to his word, in which I believe with my whole heart, and remind myself of what he's done for me. No matter how I'm feeling that day, I'm sealed to him. Not because of what I've done. But because of what he did for me and by way of accepting an unbelievable, free gift. Accepting this gift and living in a way that honors him is the very best I can do on a daily basis.

Thank you, Jesus! Thank you for this gift and for providing us your word to dig into and remind us of the truths. As the enemy's only mission is to steal, kill, and destroy, I'm grateful for your word that reminds us of who you are and who we are in you. Please hold me close to you in this coming week. Allow your Holy Spirit to guide me in a closer relationship with you. I love you, Abba!